My FAVORITE!

This was sent to me a few days after the wedding.  Can I tell you that this picture is everything to me?!?! My hubby's brother was one of the ushers for the wedding. He snapped this shot.  It sums up J's parenting in one beautiful picture. 

J has spent most of his life loving this precious young woman.  He has always tried to lead her to Christ.  I love that this picture shows him guiding our beautiful daughter to the alter. He is escorting her to the sacrament.  At this point in her life it is her choice, but he taught her to desire this choice through his example and care. We are all watching as we always have.  We share in her faith and her joy.  Thank you for J for always leading us all to HIM!

Randome Text

J is such great dad. It is always wonderful when the kids recognize it. 

Everyone Has the FLU

No details, no body wants them.  Sometimes being in a big family means that when the first person gets sick everyone else feels like a ticking time bomb.  When, will it be as bad, can I avoid it?  I share this post because I want to point out that I love my family.  I watched the kids take care of each other.  They fight and drive me nuts all of the time but they love each other and care for each other - even when it means they might be next.  My family would not have lived long during the black plague.  We would have shared it very quickly and died caring for each other.  In the end we were all on the mend and had enjoyed a few movies.  Now onto the next adventure.  With the house on the market I must say that our hoe has never been this clean while we were sick.  I scrubbed constantly.  With no showings we ended up having a peaceful week.

Twins In Trouble

Even when these two are in trouble and then end up having fun!  Goof balls were both told that they were in trouble and asked to kneel with their hands up.  They immediately grabbed hands and made it a game.  Parenting twins is not as easy as some might think.

New Pool Table

J has always said that our home should be that home!  He wants his kids around and having fun.  He loves to interact with them.   His dream was to have a pool table.  It was always a dream that we put off because of the space needed.  This house has the space and he found a great deal on one being resold.  We are the third owners and hope to have a lifetime of family fun with it.   

Good luck to you if stop by, the kids practice all the time.  

A New Coffee Shop

J and I are always in search of coffee shops. We found a fun one. Our parenting is always so much better when we have found a minute or two for us.  These coffee adventures are our dates.

Friday Silly Time

When we first started having children J and I promised that we would be that family with that house.  You know the one.  Your own kids don't leave because they like it at home and the other kids come over to play.  We wold know where our kids were because they would be with us.  Our other house was not set up that way.  We had a hard time letting the kids go to others homes when we didn't know them, so I guess we had become very anti social.  The opposite is true in this house.  I miss a quiet Friday night but I also love that there is always some sort of chaos happening in my living room.

The "Mean Dad"

The big kids are playing on the structure, and continues playing a game the rest of our visit.

While I sat close the twins climbed in and out of the log and then on and off of the kiddie structure.

That was until a very aggressive dad of Summer and April decided to yell at the twins.  I write this days later but the sting of that moment is still there.  The twins were climbing up and down and being twins.  If you have a set you will understand.  They help each other climb by offering a body part, any part to assist each other.  Adorable had just helped Beautiful up onto the platform by offering her foot out, Beautiful grabbed her foot and pulled herself up.  When this other young child of the overprotective parent saw Adorable offer her foot out to Summer - a timid girl of about 2 1/2 (think she was just months younger than the girls) all calm was gone.  I saw this as it was happening and didn't react because I knew what Adorable was trying to do; she was trying to help Summer up the same way she had helped Beautiful.  The dad was standing at a different angle and assumed Adorable was going to kick his daughter off, even though they had been playing nicely together for 20 minutes.  He screamed at the top of his lungs and charged at Adorable, "NO, NO, NO!  STOP THAT NOW! YOU DON'T DO THAT! SHE CAN CLIMB UP TOO! YOU DON'T GET TO BE IN CHARGE! . . (and other things that I can't remember." I understand he was afraid for his daughter but to say he over reacted is a MAJOR UNDERSTATEMENT.  Parents especially moms came running from all over the park to offer assistance to what they must have assumed was an adult hurting a child.  They were all as stunned as I was to see this grown man hovering over the twins and yelling at them with all his might.  I sat still for a minute trying not over react myself.  I dismissed calling the police for help because I really didn't want to traumatize the twins more but I instantly felt so sorry for Summer and April (the 15 month old baby sister). Princess and Bagel got the girls before the man was done yelling and just grabbed them away from him.  The boys were right there as well, ready for action if needed.  I think dad realized how obnoxious he was right away but the moment was still very awkward.  Then Beautiful came running at me telling me about "The mean dad." and then Adorable, once safely in my arms, let out a loud cry and then whimpered non stop for about 10 minutes.  The dad told me from a distance (probably good on his part - Momma Bear was holding a crying baby) that she was probably upset because he raised his voice at her.  I calmly told him that I was well aware of his yelling as were all of the bystanders.  I felt so protected actually.  I think all those other parents would have defended any kid from that dad if needed.  I tried to calm Beautiful while holding a sobbing Adorable by telling her that I knew that Adorable didn't do anything wrong but that Summer's dad must have misunderstood because of where he was standing.  I said it loud enough for all those watching to hear, including the "mean dad".  I told her that I was sure that "Summer's daddy just over reacted because he thought Summer might have been killed by a kick and fall of one foot."  Yes I was being obnoxious but it was better than the other side of momma bear coming out.  The dad knew it too.  I think he wanted to stand his ground and let Summer and April play on the playhouse but they were too embarrassed and quietly walked over to the bike contraption and climbed in.  The dad got on the bike and as he left said,  "I hope you enjoy the rest of your time here." (I couldn't help but think - where is your apology to this little girl who has not yet caught her breathe from sobbing.)  I said, "Thank you but for now we are just in damage control, you have good night."  When he road off Beautiful stood up and waved saying, "BYE BYE MEAN DAD!"  It might be wrong of me but I didn't correct her.

Parenting Book Study

If you are looking for some help with dealing with the backtalk of children, I want to take the time to recommend this wonderful book. Backtallk: 4 Steps to Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids.  Over the years I have referred to this little gem over and over again.  My kids cringe every time they see it. They don’t always like it because I will be more consistent in my parenting.  This in turn changes their behavior. In fact I just found out that Pooker hid the book for a few years.  God Bless that child. 
I sent out an invitation to my homeschool group.  I knew that to "teach" something you must know it yourself.  I was happy to have made a commitment and then setting up three meetings over 21 days I knew that I could be more effective in changing myself.
So with Lent starting and the desire to be a better parent I decided it was time to read the book again.  My biggest issue is remaining consistent. The first week is tough, the second week isn't bad but by the third week I am letting too much slip by.  With each read I do grow stronger in my parenting but I wanted to be a better parent with more peace in my home by Easter.  I also wanted support as I went through it this time.

                                                                                 
   I strongly recommend this book to anyone looking to be better at discipline.   

I really wanted to give this my all.  I prepared my notes, gave out suggested homework and enjoyed sharing what has worked in our home over the years while learning from my peers.  I share some cards that offered the 4 steps with my notes about each one with everyone. 

Backtalk: 4 Steps to Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids

                                   Written by      Audrey Ricker  And  Carolyn Crowder

Step 1:  Recognize Backtalk  Does it hurt, embarrass,   annoy or leave you helpless?

Step 2:  Choose appropriate Consequence  Have backups ideas on hand—like time out, kneeling, dead horse, chore.

Step 3:  Enact the Consequence.   You can briefly identify the backtalk, express how it hurt or was inappropriate, state the consequence, put child in place, set up chore, oversee the initiation of Consequence (not the same as a punishment). 

Step 4:  Disengage  I find that this can be the hardest step.  Do not engage in conversation about the consequence.  Have a “go-to” on hand to change the subject if needed.  Say a prayer out loud or start singing a song.  It will soon be known that as soon as you disengage there is no use continuing the reaction.

I wanted to give this 100% for my friends.  Jason was so encouraging.  I was shocked that the night after my first discussion/class Jason and the kids had come by and left flowers on the car.  Aren't they cute!?! 

The best part was having friends to share consequence ideas with.  So many ideas from some great mothers.  I think that we might continue to gather one time a month to offer continued support from like minded moms. 

I recommend this book to all parents out there.  Don't be afraid to do this wrong, just do something.  We owe it to our children to parent them.  This book gives some wonderful ways in which we can positively parent.  If the form of consequences in the book don't work for you, change it up.  If the ones I offer don't work for you, change it up.  Just do something and be consistent.  Your children will thank you for it (they might also hide the book on you) but they will eventually thank you.

Remembering a wise conversation with Jumba

"Why in the world would God send us TWO more babies?", I asked after a night of little sleep. 


It was the four year old that put me in my place.  Jumba said, "God told me in a dream that we are just supposed to love them!". 


"That's it?",  I inquired of my wise little man.


"Yep!  We just need to love them the rest will work out.  You do love them don't you?"  He asked of me.  This is what Pooker has been trying to remind me of when I worry about the little things.  


I couldn't answer him because the tears had filled my eyes and were streaming down my face.  I needed them to help me remember. I am so happy to be tired because it means that I have healthy babies at home that need mom to take care of them.  We are so blessed.


Duh mom, at least me kids have it figured out.  It really is that simple.  If you have one child or  twenty your job is very simple.  We are just required to love them.  God does the rest.

Parenting from the Pastor

A friend showed me something in a bulletin from a local parish.  I cried when I first read "A Message from the Pastor."  Fr. Ian Bordenave, O.P. of Holy Rosary Church in Houston TX addressed a very tender subject for me.  Having a large family I have often been asked how to keep kids quiet in church.  I have also developed some very strong feelings about where children belong during Mass.  I was thrilled to read his post.  Click here and scroll down to the message and see if you like what he has to say.

On Your Knees

I need to explain and share with this picture. I am often asked how I discipline. I know that in today's world it can be a loaded question. Some people are so afraid of harsh punishments that they never give their children boundaries. There are others that still use "the belt" or the "the paddle".

When I was 18 I had the privilege of working in a day care setting. I learned about what would and wouldn't work under the ever watchful eyes of parents that didn't trust or the state that was there to regulate us. We were forbidden, and rightfully so, to use any form of corporal punishment. We could not do anything except "time-out" and "telling the parents". Neither was very effective at all. Every now and then a newbie would with-hold snack for an aggressive child only to be sanctioned later after that child told their parents that they didn't get snack that day.

I have seen a child continually put their hand into an electric socket. How should one handle that? There are those that say let them experience the natural consequence. That might work unless they are electrocuted to death. Time outs don't work with some children, they just don't. I don't care what all the books say, they don't work. At some point every child will test that boundary and one out of 5 children are going to be the one that isn't even slowed down by "time out." These small children will not blink at the loss of a treat or a privilege.

"So how do you handle that Neen?" It might surprise the non parent readers how often this question is asked of me. Well the answer is in this picture. "On Your Knees" is my response when I need to get the child's attnetion. This is a very physical form of punishment. It hurts if they have to stay in the position very long. It can be embarrassing for the child but it isn't too extreme. If they have to go to their knees in public it is because they haven't listened to the first two warnings. In this picture the wild little monsters were kicking the plastic chess pieces. I told them several times to stop and they would not listen. I am sure they were pumped up on sugar as we had just visited the candy store. That being said they had to listen.

J's parents used some from of this years ago and that is where he got it from. I must say that it is very effective without being abusive. The children know those words and when they hear them they always smile. They were caught and they know it. You can require it of a teenager and of a toddler equally. I love that part. It doesn't require long term effects either. often withdrawing privileges means that often the punishment is unrelated to the actions. This method makes it immediate and the correlation between what was done wrong and the punishment is evident. This can be done with or without money and can be implemented anywhere. I love it and have found it to be very effective. (Always being careful to not overuse!)

The "One Your Knees" position requires the penitent to kneel straight. The legs must be behind them and kept still. The feet must be tucked under also remain still. Arms up and out. It is to resemble the outstretched arms of Christ on the Cross. This is where is starts to hurt, holding the arms up. The time to leave them in this position is minimal as long as they are up straight and arms are out. The "lazy" kneeler will be with you longer as you continue to correct their form. It doesn't happen that often because no one likes this punishment (unlike the soap in the mouth we tried one time, apparently I buy yummy soap.)

So next time you little one is acting up and you need to get their attention try saying, "On your knees". They are not allowed to talk but you are allowed to lecture while in this position. Good luck mom's and dad's. Remember no one wants to be around your children when they are unruly either. It is easy to begin using this around 2 1/2 or 3 years of age. Do your kiddos a favor and don't be afraid to parent!

Do your kids ever fight?

Only over a cute newborn who is waiting for hugs and kisses. Mrs. G with precious baby K. They were so generous to share her with each and every Texas T. That is a lot of people to let hold your very new baby.

Bear with K.
Goobers with K.

Pooker's turn.
So even mom and dad needed a turn. Do you see how adorable she is? Let me tell you she had just had a bath and smelled just like a baby should. She had tons of hair and a beautiful round face that just screams "kiss on me!".
Possible so loved holding that bundle.
Pickle also just loved looking at all the faces a newborn makes.

Princess would have held K all day if we let her.
Look at K with Bagel. The little foot in the corner, so cute!

Jumba is declaring, "I want one, Dad, hey dad, I want a baby!"
It is this wonderful family's anniversary this weekend. We pray that God continues to Bless your marriage and we thank you for letting us be a little part of your lives. K is such beautiful baby. Life doesn't get better than looking into the eyes of a baby, feeling her breathe and knowing what the love of heaven feels like.
Thank you so much for showing my young ones how life should look. We loved spending time with the entire G family and can't wait until you live a little closer.

Bagel is doing a little better!

Bagel does not get to pick our weekend plans next week. This has not been fun. The poor kiddo is so tired of being sick. She had so much fun this past week while she felt better, just moving a little slower than usual. Friday she acted very tired so we were on the look out for a fever. The fever didn't show up until Saturday afternoon. The fever meant infection so she was readmitted to the hospital. The poor kiddo hated the IV going in. Then she heard the surgery word and lost it. (I admit dad and I did also.) Having a drain tube put in was technically a procedure not a true surgery.

The doctor admitted that they fully expected her to have a secondary infection due to how bad her appendix was when in came out. By the time she went back for the 'procedure' she was getting pretty bad and so were her parents. I admit that I have been much more on edge this trip to the hospital than last. All and all it is going well and they tell us the Bagel is doing well.
Oh my goodness that did not stop us from having a little blow out. Mom, dad and Bagel fighting. Bagel was yelling at us, telling us no, and refusing to take medicine. After a little prodding she reluctantly got up to go to the bathroom. Her very full bladder was probably causing pain at the area that is now very sore. She hated looking at the drain that was put in. I guess it was a little freaky but will come out in a few days. After she repeatedly told mom to "shut up", I tapped her face. She started bawling. She grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go. At that point Jason and I realized that she was stilled scared to death and that is why she was being so cranky.
We just held her. She was so scared. It told her that I knew that she didn't mean to talk back but no matter how sick we feel we must be polite to others. She nodded. I apologized for not seeing how scared she was and asked what upset her the most. She told us that she was afraid we were going to leave her. I guess she wasn't all the way asleep before surgery this time when we left her for the waiting area. We assured her that we sat right outside the door. Bless her little heart. Even in the midst of crazy fears and horrible fevers and health issues we need to to always be ready to listen. This little one was acting so bad and it is out of character. Dad and I had to correct her and let her know what we expected all while trying to understand where the attitude was coming from. After a good cry and many hugs everyone felt better. Now if we can just get her well enough to come home and stay home.

A book that I liked

I read a book years ago that helped form my attitude toward discipline and behavior for my children. This book was popular but I don't think it was ever trendy. I did think at times that it was to scientific and not real enough. Most theories regarding child modification, when field tested need to be altered to meet the specific needs of a specific child or family. That being said I found that the tools suggested in this book helped me to form my own methods. I found them to be very helpful.

I am often asked how come I have such great kids. I tell people that I am just very blessed. That is very true. I also believe that the main ingredient is to be consistent. I did have a mom explain to be that she was also consistent but with the wrong techniques. She wanted to know where my techniques came from. I think that

Backtalk: 4 Steps to Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids

by Audrey Ricker helped me to define bad behavior and gave me permission to be proactive. I know that it must help in a drastic way because every child groans when I pull the book off the shelf to reread it. Good luck moms, this book helped me. I hope you have the same results.

Tip for moms

In so many ways I am not the best of mothers. I am tired and lazy so much of the time. I would much rather type than clean and often do. Right now I need to pay the bills and make our money stretch and I just don't want to, it is too depressing. My kiddos are very smart but I should push harder. I haven't grocery shopped in days and we are close to running out of just about everything. The toilet paper is almost gone, so no more waiting. I let them sleep in and stay up late. I find that to be one of the biggest advantages of homeschooling. I struggle with being "normal" like everyone else and being comfortable with how God made us.

Our formal studies are on hold this week. We are still working on religion and reading but with two funerals in the middle of two of our biggest days I knew it would not be the week for lots of work. We are just enjoying the time together. We are talking, watching TV, crying, cleaning, and anything else that pops up. Call it out Fall break if you want.

This week I have received about five private notes speaking to the kind of mother I appear to be. While I am honored that anyone would think that I have it together, I beg you to ask my children what they think. They are more likely to tell you how lazy, unorganized, and unmotivated I can be. I do love my family and I try. I fail most of the time but that is being human I think. I did stumble upon one important trick that allows me to feel close to each child everyday. It is worth sharing for those that want to know their children better.

As I fall asleep at night and I begin my night prayers, I try to recall each child. Now I must point out that too often I have stayed up too late on the computer and fall asleep before praying. I am trying to be better at this. I know God deserves my first thought of the day and my last thought at night. So pray for me that I get better at this.

I have tried to form myself to recall each child in some activity that they have done in the day. I make myself call to mind a scene from that day in which I can offer God my thanks for that child. I have found that if I do this in prayer I am much more honest. It is my inclination to find the negative in a child. I must force myself to remember a positive scene of that child's face from that day.

This is not as easy as if might appear when you have more than one child. This trick also helps me stay positive during the day because I need to find a positive memory. I tend to smile at the child that comes crying to me with something that is broken instead of getting angry. They look so adorable when they feel guilty and know they did something wrong. It also keeps me in the moment more. Too often my mind is elsewhere even when I am with my children. I am missing too many insights into who they really are. When I am spending too much time yelling and not enough time laughing with them then I know that I am not being faithful to this form of nightly prayer.

I should try the same approach in the mornings. Asking God to help each child with a character flaw. Giving each day a goal for each child would help form better days. I challenge myself to focus on this for the next week. Each morning a specific prayer for each child and every night thanking God by recalling a happy face. Join me in this if you would like. Let me know if it helps guide your days as much as it guides mine. To my children I beg that you forgive me and know that I adore each and every one of you. Each one of you is my favorite.

Jumba is growing up!

Jumba is a little over two years of age now. I know that they stop being a baby now but this little man seamed to have changed over night. I can't even believe how grown up he is. At the park the other day he did his own thing.

He used to only go where his big siblings took him. He used to be hesitant to walk off on his own. I spent that afternoon looking for him. I always found him trying something new and then laughing at me when I told him he was scaring his mom.

This little maneuver made me very nervous. He isn't quit big enough to step up by himself, or so I thought. I worried for no reason. He proved that he could do it all by himself. Thanks to my friend that reminded me to just watch and not stop him.

I don't love that Jumba is so big but I am very proud of him. This little one wants to keep up with the older kiddos. He tries everything. He doesn't complain too much when he is hurt. I love his spirit and his spunk.

Her has no problem making friends and enjoying life. Jumba has yet again reminded me that being a good mom often means sitting back, saying a prayer and being close enough to help. I should help only when asked.

Who knew that this little one would grow up into such a wild man so quickly!?!

You Have Great Kids!

Honestly I hear that statement several times on a daily basis. My reply is always, "I know, you are right! I am very blessed!" I do have wonderful children. I often heard my mom say (when hearing how great her kids were) "They really are great in spite of me, I had nothing to do with it." That is how I feel. I really feel that every person has that great potential and it becomes what the parents focus on. If I were to focus on what makes me angry about my children then that is what you would see. I decided years ago to instead focus on their positive traits.

Growing up I was labeled by family as being very spirited and argumentative. Now this can be viewed as good or bad. I was blessed with a strong sense of self value and I guess that encouraged me to develop my personality instead of hiding it. I often see insecure people that are afraid to be themselves because of something their older brother, a teacher or a mean parent told them when they are five. I know that God created me this way. I need to work hard to develop my personality and mirror it to Christ. Denying who I was created for is not right either.

In that same respect I look at my children and their strong traits. It is my job to help them to mold those traits into Christ. It is my job to help them find the human boundaries that they need so that they don't present themselves to the world in a way that disrespects who the Creator wants them to be. It is true that I do not know the entire plan. God only gives me a taste and for that I am most thankful.

My Moogie is one of the most strong willed and determined young people ever born. Back when she was about 4 years old I sat in church fighting with her. I could not get her to settle down. All the tricks that had worked with the first 4 were not working on her. Part of me was torn with "the way she should be" and the other part thinking about "how God made her". I remember kneeling with her little body pinned to the pew by me. I had her knees between by legs as we both knelt forward. I was keeping my knees close to hold her still.

I broke into private prayer in my mind as I struggled to settle this strong child. "I don't want to hurt this child, I don't want to kill her spirit but WHY. I don't understand why she fights me on everything. What am I supposed to do???" The answer was spoken so quietly in my mind. "This is my child and I love her very much. She is exactly the way I need her to be. It is your job to form her and bring her to me. This child needs to be this way to accomplish the tasks I have for her. Continue to teach her to behave in church but don't forget that I made her feisty and strong for me." If you read my other posts you will see that we discovered 2 years later that Moogie had a mal formed heart. God wanted her feisty, and maybe it was just so that she could endure those physical issues. I doubt that is all.

I see His Greatness in all of my children. One is extremely compassionate. She hears any story and prayers for weeks about it. Another gets locked into a thought and can't move on. Another wants to be constantly in charge and lead his siblings all the time. So many children with so many gifts and talents.

I do have great kids, but so do you. Follow their personalities and help to form the strong traits not change them. Work with God and his creation not against it. Then rejoice and celebrate when you see the positives.

Being Involved

One way that we can help our children stay on the right track in life is to be involved. We try to help with any activity we can. We often giggle to ourselves when we hear someone use their children as the excuse to not get involved. I am always tempted to ask if they were coaches before they had children or if they plan to teach a class at church when their own kiddos are grown. "I can't coach I have three children and you have no idea how hard it is to get their dinner on the table." or "I don't know how you do it with these two and still teach at church, my one child is so demanding and he doesn't want me around!" I want to say I don't have 3 children but 9, my house isn't in perfect order, we eat out too often, BUT you need to be worried when your child doesn't want you around.

My husband and I were blessed with parents that saw the value in connecting with us through our activities. Mimi, my mom, would say that even though she hated to always be the driver that it was the best time to connect with us. That time in the car is so important. Even if it was just silence. Often it would start off quiet with the music playing but as the ride went on so did the conversation. I miss those rides with my mom. My husband's mom and dad, Nanie and Gramps, were always very involved with the church and sporting organizations. My husband has wonderful family memories of his mom and dad leading the church carnivals and fund raising auctions. Those events help to involve their children into the faith and the parish life and also brought the family together.

Nanie and Gramps also set the example for us by helping to coach. They were able to share their interest in the sport with their children. They also knew who their child's friends were. Nanie carried on that tradition with Pooker when we still lived in St. Louis. At that time my dear husband and I were helping to run the CYC volleyball program in our area, but Nanie was the one on the court each week coaching Pooker and her friends.

Too often my husband and I are asked how come our kids are so close to each other? We are asked how come our kids are so well behaved? The answer is to do what Mimi, Nanie and Gramps did. GET INVOLVED!! Sometimes it means just being the driver to an event for the entire group. They will talk to you during the car rides if you also listen. Laugh at yourself and remember that you are the parent not the friend. Talk to them when you listen to the song that is blaring bad words. Don't just turn it off, find out why they like it and explain why you don't. Coach, teach, volunteer and any other way you can be involved.




These are happy girls that have had the love and support from their parents and grand parents. I am not trying to say that we never have a problem. Our good kids get off track very easily, just like everyone else. I would never pass judgement on anyone by assuming that their child is in trouble because they are not involved. I am just trying to point out that to truly love your child you must die to yourself. In our world that means give up you rest time, your pride, your workout time, your personal time and get involved. Be the coach that knows the team. You will not regret the connection you will be able to make with them and their friends.

We are very grateful that my dear husband got the opportunity to help coach this year. We are thankful to the other parents that gave up their free time to coach, know and love our other girls this volleyball season. We are thankful to Mimi, Nanie and Gramps for setting that wonderful example and for keeping us out of trouble. (. . . OK and loving us anyway, even when we got into trouble.)

So get involved and enjoy the time with your child and their friends! I promise you will not be disappointed.