God has been so very good to me. I am so happy and thankful for so many things in my life. Yes the past four weeks have been very hard but at the same time so full of gifts. I know that within another month my posts will be full of fun and happy things again. I want to see the positive now even though I am finding it hard. I understand that being just 2 weeks postpartum mean that my hormones are not helping with that goal. So bare with this crazy woman and her random pictures of things to be thankful for.
I know I complain about being a cow, that has to "be milked" every few hours, but I really am so glad that I have the resources and the means to make it all happen. The special pump is so nice and I am so happy to rent it. I love that my milk has come in and come in strong. The hospital even has some of my milk saved in it's frozen supplies. So if I feel sick or can't make it over there, the babies are covered. I am so thankful for that.
After my c-section I was still too sick, my blood pressure was way too high and my oxygen intake was so low that I was not allowed back into the NICU. I saw the babies just after birth and then waited about 12 hours until I was stable before I was taken back in my hospital bed to see the babies. The kids waited at the hospital until late to keep me company. J was there to support me. This was very hard on him and he seamed so distant the more sick I got. I say that, but that could be the hormones. J was always there for me. I would listen to the kids talk about how cute the babies were and he would just grab my hand knowing that I was longing to see them.
What I do know is that God really loves me to have sent me these precious gifts. I know it has not been easy but I have been so blessed with all the people I have met that have helped with all my trials. I have been so blessed to have such good friends that text me about my feet being up and constantly asking what they could bring me. I met nurses that shared their life stories to help me find purpose to mine. These twins have me on a path that will continue to change my life and to fill it with so many gifts. I also get to kiss on those precious little faces, how lucky I am! I might have taken for ever to get there over these two but I am so thankful for Adorable and Beautiful.
Pooker has been the strongest leader. I am once again so impressed by her. It could not have been easy to come home into our crazy life and step right into leading the group the way only she can. I never thought she would put her own life aside for the family like she has this past month. She is still working at UST as a lifeguard but other than that she has made sure that she is here for us when ever we need her. She has taken on the challenge of making sure our cabinets are full while remaining within budget. I can't imagine trusting anyone else with this crazy task. She enlisted the help of Goobers and Bear for her shopping trips and has made the most of it. I have been impressed by all my children but most impressed by Pooker. She has put her pride aside and impressed me on so many levels. I am so thankful for my first born. She is so much like me that often we fight and jump to conclusions but I am so very blessed to be her mom. I am so thankful to have her in my life.
I am equally thankful for Goobers and Bear. I am thankful for Sugar who came home and started staying the nights with me in the hospital. She was there to do whatever I needed. I am so thankful for Possible. She has done everything to keep peace. It has been hard having the older kids having more freedom and she still having little. Instead of being jealous she has worked hard to keep peace and see that all try to get along.
Pickle, Princess and Bagel have kept me thankful by constantly seeing to my needs. After getting home they will walk into the room and just fill my cup full of fresh water or simple little things like that. Often they just walk up and hug me, which I need. They ask the best questions about the twins and help us to all understand the simple truth that God gave us these babies to love on, no matter what.
I am also thankful for Jumba. He is so precious to me. Always making sure that I am sleeping or I am comfortable. He is a spoiled little guy that should be in bed on time but gets by with staying up because he is rubbing mom's back. Is he playing me or taking care of me? I like to think he is just caring for me. I feel so thankful for him.
I know that I have been so blessed in my life. I am thankful for all that I have been given, especially my children. All 11 of them. I am thankful for the times in the car going to and from the hospital. I am thankful for the songs that are played while the kids all sing and laugh with each other. I am so thankful for all these blessing in my life.
Yes I have had a very hard time the past few weeks. I don't do well when I feel sick. I hate not having "control" over my life. I can't stand not being the one in charge. I hate needing to trust others with my finances, my shopping, my laundry, and the care of my children. In what has been very hard for me God has blessed me. I thank God for each of those blessing. I ask that my health will soon return and my need of the help of others will disappear but I am thankful for all the help that others are willing to give.
I AM SO THANKFUL . . .