Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

My symptoms started while we were on our trip but I knew that there was no way I was pregnant.  For some reason I didn't think I could have anymore and I felt like we were finished with baby making.  I was at peace with that.  I even had a discussion with a friend about it in St. Louis.  I was at peace and knew that the next stage of our life was upon us.  I began to worry that the next stage was health issues because of the change in how I was feeling.  The first time we went to the zoo while on our trip, I walked around and felt great but on the last day when we walked around the same zoo again I felt exhausted and my back hurt so bad.  I slept so much on the long drive back to Houston.  Poor J drove the entire way and I couldn't even keep my eyes open.  We thought I must be getting sick because I was more sleepy that usual. 

We spent one afternoon with Pooker's friend Daniel and I loved that he walked us around the campus of his college but I was again feeling so tired.   I decided that I would need to start taking more vitamins when we returned home.  My poor feet were so swollen from those walks which wasn't normal either.  I am going to have to get healthy.  After all we are about to begin our RV days now that the babies were gone and we were all bigger.  We would be traveling more.  I needed to be able to keep up. 

In St. Louis we walked constantly in our site seeing.  I ate pretty good and thought I should have dropped a few pounds from all the exercise we added to our schedule.  The way I was feeling, so tired and extremely exhausted was not matching the way I thought I should be feeling.  Remember I had a friend die a few years back of pancreatic cancer and her only first complaint was her back hurting.  So I did have fleeting worries of something really being wrong.  Those feelings didn't stick and I could hear Linda telling me it wasn't my time. 

After being home for two days and unpacking in between naps, I decided that I was just re-adjusting after that wonderful trip.  I didn't push the school work and figured I would rest for the remainder of the week.  I would be better by next week.  J went out of town and I unpacked everything and slowly put it all away.  I wasn't moving fast and I took lots of naps but my feet were better.  I was still coughing pretty bad but I don't get allergies (unless I am pregnant and I knew I wasn't.)  I was shocked to step on the scale and realize that I had just gained 5 lbs.  Exercise just wasn't my friend.  I was eating better and moving around but still gaining weight.  Nuts. 

In all the unpacking I ran into an unused pregnancy test.  Might as well rule out pregnancy from the cause of my exhaustion.  That way I will be able to tell the doctor that wasn't it and we could move on to the real cause.

Umm is that a second line and is it really dark?  I sent J this picture with a note saying that I wasn't sick and that he must have been right two months ago when he said I was pregnant.  We took a test then and it was negative but it must have been a false reading.  They say you can trust a positive test no matter what but not always a negative tests.  I looked over dates and picked the time that would have me due in late May or the beginning of June.   The only way I could explain the weight gain, the expanding belly, the extreme exhaustion, the coughing and swollen feet were if I was almost finished with the first Trimester. 

We told the kiddos a week later.  They were shocked and thrilled.  I had to explain my need for naps to them.  I grew more and more sad that we will never have all the children at home at one time as our Pooker is getting reading to move out on her own.  Essentially they will be from two different families.  But the job was now to find a doctor.  My last OB had retired just after my miscarriage with David.  The field was wide open.  We picked one and I even worried that I couldn't be honest with how far along I was.  Some doctors will not take a new patient if they are too far into a pregnancy.  The one I picked couldn't see me for three weeks.  I would be 12 or 13 weeks by then at least.  Those three weeks proved difficult.  J refused to tell people until after the doctors appointment.  We couldn't keep the kids quiet and honestly I was already looking very pregnant.  All this was confirming I was pretty far along but J still waited.  This meant some people knew and some didn't.  I am sorry for any hurt feelings that arose from this.  My husband would not budge and was upset with me for not hiding it better. 

I got very nervous the day of the appointment.  What if we didn't like the doctor?  What if he won't keep me as a patient because I am too far along?  What if the baby isn't OK?  ?????????????
As we sat in the office and went over my long history and health background I remembered so many things that could go wrong.  I handed the nurse my personal chart of birth history that notes labor, the gestational week and the size of babies.  The list ended with miscarriage and that was all I thought of as she copied my information into the chart for this pregnancy. 

The excitement began with the doctor.  He stated that many woman can actually be more fertile during menopause and he has known mothers in their late 40's to be have very healthy pregnancies and babies.  OK I felt comfortable.  I mean after all I am only 42.   I like this man's calm presence and I was OK with my choice.  Now to the ultrasound to verify the date.

Then came the words that changed everything . . .

DR. 

 "You were way off on your due date. The measurements of this baby suggest that you are 8 weeks 2 days along and the size of this second baby confirms that date!" 

Jason smiled and said,

"He said who did what now?" 

After a pause, 

"He should not joke about that."

DR. 

"This is very interesting.  This is exciting.  The most interesting thing I have seen all week.  No joking look.  Baby 1 and Baby 2.  Now let me see . . ."

I said,

"I don't think he is joking.  I think we must be looking at twins." 

So that is what you see Baby one and Baby two.  I am writing this one week from that appointment for two reasons.  One I am still exhausted and shocked to learn that I am only 8 or now 9 weeks along.  I am still needing too many naps.   But multiplies develop a little faster so the signs might ease us sooner.  MIGHT.  Two it has taken me a full week to digest what the doctor said.  TWO BABIES.  The doctor laughed at me and said that he suspected I thought that after so many that I knew it all but surprise God was sending something different this time.  He assured me that it would be very different.  I was to get blood work and come back in a month, call with questions.  Now at this point I wanted to know how likely I was to miscarry one or both.  He said that he was able to get very strong heartbeats on both babies.  This meant that the likely hood of miscarriage was pretty low.  Anything can happen but the babies look strong. 

Everything I have read about twin pregnancy since the appointment says that because the body is making two babies and two placentas mom will be even more tired.  The belly will grow faster and mom will gain weight right away.  Hey, I had all the signs, I just didn't know how to read them. 

Wow Twins for a mom that thought we were not having more.  God must love to mess with my plans.  I think His are far better than my own.  I ask anyone that has read this far to please offer a prayer for these two little ones.   In my "advanced maternal age" I find that I am prone to worry more about all the things that could be. 

I must agree with a dear friend that pulled me aside the other day and with tears in her eyes shared how she knew these babies were going to be so loved by all their siblings.  She was inspired by all that love and gave that inspiration back to me.  I am most grateful for her assessment of the situation.  In the end twins would just mean double the love.  God is so great!