A Fallen Priest

Years ago I joined a religious movement in the church. I later left that movement. I realized that there were too many falsehoods to overlook. I lost many dear friends when I left the movement. I guess that some people are to afraid to know the truth. Often they would rather be mad at the messenger than the message. I will not go into my personal details here. It is also very hard for me to keep my emotions out of it. I can suffice it to say that I believe this group to be a water downed version of a cult and that I am a better Catholic out of this movement.

My experiences could have made me bitter and even angry at my Catholic upbringing (it has for many.) My formation before meeting this group was too good and that did not happen to me. I add my time in as life experiences. God allowed me to grow close to these people for a reason. I pray for all my sisters and brothers in Christ, especially those still entangled in the mess of this movement.

I fear many will fall when the new realization hits them. I hit a depression and it lasted about 6 months. I wasn't even in the movement that long. My depression wasn't medical or extreme. My husband and I just knew that I was overwhelmed with a sadness that I had to fight my way through. I am so worried that those who continue to ignore the reality that this movement was founded by a "not-so-wonderful" priest will have a hard time this week. I worry that many will become depressed and lost as the news sinks in.

We were instructed to believe the fallen man was a living saint by those in leadership within the movement. When you allow yourself to be fed this kind of false information from a group that also tells you that they are your source for true Catholic information your sense of judgment becomes warped. I have seen people base their lives, their children's education, their marriages, their money and every part of their soul into the hands of those within the movement. What happens to these trusting souls when they realize that the founder wasn't so wonderful and not at all saintly.

I don't know. I think denial will be the first step. Then the rest will follow like a set of dominoes. The realization will hit each at different times. Each will feel like someone close has died. Then anger at themselves and then the priest. I pray that all of these people will come to God with their pain, anger and sadness. God loved this fallen man just as he loves all others. It is not our place to judge the priest. It is our place to continue to love and honor God no matter what other humans do.

It has taken me a long time to let go of my anger, hurt and sadness. It has taken me time to rebuild my life away from the movement. It takes time to build friendships. It takes time to forgive, move one and try to be here for those that need to talk. To my friends that might read this, please know that I am here if you need to talk. Please keep praying and don't loose hope. Know that I love each of you and will continue to pray, as I have each day, for you and your families.

Often while in this group we were instructed to not believe what we read in the news about this fallen priest. We were told to "consider the source". My husband even lost a dear friend when they argued over the topic of the "source". In fact many Catholic publications have the same source, Zenit news, which happens to be a subsidiary to the movement. So these sources never published the bad stuff about their founder. Why would they? They didn't believe the stories. Here are the links to a few of their own sources that now admit the news.
http://www.zenit.org/article-25006?l=english

http://www.ncregister.com/daily/father_maciel_scandal/

http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/blog/sad_news/

Now some wording from outside sources.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/04/us/04legion.html?_r=2&ref=us

http://amywelborn.wordpress.com/2009/02/03/way-truth-and-life/

Other blogs about news:

http://patrickmadrid.blogspot.com/2009/02/this-is-no-time-for-happy-face-stickers.html

http://whispersintheloggia.blogspot.com/2009/02/fall-of-founder.html

http://www.americanpapist.com/labels/legionaries%20of%20christ.html

http://www.life-after-rc.com/2009/02/disconnect.html

http://exlcblog.blogspot.com/

http://www.life-after-rc.com/2009/02/filtering-back.html

I will end with a link that at first surprised me. After some thought I realized it is exactly what should be done. I have often gone to a certain source to find out what the latest legal issues were with this movement. I expected to find a little bit of "I told you so" attitude there yesterday when I looked. Instead I found true Christian Charity. There is no news posted, not one articles about the current situation. This site lists names of people that you can contact if you are overwhelmed by sadness because of the movement. Nothing but true charity for those hurt. I also pray for these victims every day and I am so humbled by their charity.

http://www.regainnetwork.org/index.php

To all my RC friends: I am still your sister in Christ, even though I am not still "in" RC. Please call me, email me, or stop by if you need to talk. I have been there. It hurts but it will be OK. If I can help, please let me. In Prayer, Shannon