Eulogy From Mami Bit's Funeral (With Some Old Photos)

Good morning.  I would like to share with you some of the beautiful lessons I learned from my aunt.  I suspect that we have these in common no matter if we knew her as a neighbor, a classmate, a sibling, or relative we will have learned from her.  I know that even Dominic, as her great grandchild, will have learned some of these lessons that we can all relate to.

I learned that titles and names are of little importance.  You must remain the same person to everyone.  It doesn’t matter if you called this great lady Mary Elizabeth, Mary, Marybeth, Beth, Shirley (when she was mistaken as her friend) or you may have called her Mrs. Klemm, Mami Bit, Mame, Mom, Grammy or Gram.  You knew that you were lucky to call her.  The title I used most often was Mame.  The rule was that as her niece, the formal version was Aunt MaryBeth or if we felt close enough we could use the nickname Mami-Bit. I am so thankful for having been blessed to know Mame and the extra blessing to have her as my God Mother. 

If you knew her at all you would have learned from her that real friends can remain constant.  Friendships are important and really make life better.  These lifelong friendships might take a little work but the rewards are everlasting, as I see so many here today joining to pray for her eternity and celebrate her life.  I have had the honor of meeting Mame’s friends that have known her longer than her sister and a few longer than her brother.  A neighbor that predated school , kindergarten peers,  and grammar school chums have been some of her closest comrades for her entire life.  I once asked if Uncle Al liked these friends.  She told me they the girls felt lucky that their husbands fit into the group and that they each got along.  She also hinted that they really didn’t have a choice.  If you were tight in kindergarten a man that came along 15 years later would unlikely be able to tear you apart.

I learned to always be generous.  This was a woman that gave what she had to everyone.  Her family and friends knew that if she had it she would share it with you.   This is known to anyone that swam in their pools over the years.   I was once chastised while in high school for not asking to use the pool for a party.  MamiBit and Uncle Al volunteered all over the place.  I remember helping run the concession stand for an annual hospital boutique.  They worked hard at these volunteer activities.  They didn’t need to be in charge or be known but they were often found working hard for a good cause.

 

My aunt liked to sew.  It could mean following a simple pattern for a Halloween costume, using plastic cross-stitch to make you coaster or knitting an afghan.   She was talented at this and shared her products with all.  I am lucky to have a St. Clemment and an Ursuline afghan that she designed. For a good ten or fifteen year stretch highschools auctions featured her designs.  As a Nernix graduat she never acted like a snob and worked very hard with fundraising for the “competition”.  She rarely made these custom afghans on demand unless you were family.  Her lap was often covered with a Desmet or a St. Joe design.

 

She would include everyone in her crafts.  Many will remember the purple sweatshirts with candy designs added to the front.  These were made for all her daughters, granddaughters, nieces and grand nieces. 

Knowing your family was also important.  I saw many of her friends and relatives looking through one of her many books lasts night.  She made several of them.  Some of these photo album were of previous generations and some were just of the grandchildren.  She would put pictures in with everyone’s name labeled.  That way the little ones could learn about their family and have their own books to look at.  She also kept in touch with cousins and enjoyed  all the family reunions.  If you were related you were a friend and she would work to make you feel comfortable, and that goes for all the those that married into the family as well.  Honestly many a friend of a relative felt loved and welcome by her.

 

Generosity would also be known to anyone that was a guest in her home, especially at the pool. It was there to share and she hoped to see you in it. She and my Uncle went out of their way to make you feel at home as their guest.  Her goal was always to have you be comfortable.  Before one Christmas party I went shopping with her to help carry the supplies.  We picked up several cases of various sodas.  When she purchased a case of diet Coke and then diet Pepsi,  I asked why we needed both.  She laughed and told me that so-in-so preferred diet Pepsi while so-in-so preferred diet Coke.  She wanted both to feel welcome so she needed to have both on hand.  We know that this was not limited to parties it included all the snacks that she had on hand all summer long.  If she found out you liked some obscure root beer, most likely it would become a regular item in the bar.

 

One huge lesson I learned from her was how to introduce people.  I noticed this when I was very young and she would take me to run errands with her, at fundraising functions or at weddings when introducing in laws to our side of the family.  If she introduced two people that didn’t know each other, remembering names was not nearly as important as helping them to find common ground so they had something to talk about.  Her goal was to make the connection getting the conversation started so that it could continue without her.   She was very skilled at this in a subtle way.   She never had to be a part of the conversation.  She would get it going and quietly listen or step away.

 

Another important lesson was that of faith.  Her faith was of the utmost importance.  She was not pushy or loud.  She rarely spoke of her faith but if you looked close you would see that her faith was her rock.  She attended Mass, she sent her children to Catholic schools, and she was active in various fund raisers for all those schools and parishes.  Little Flower, Holy Redeemer, St. Clement of Rome, Holy Infant and back to St. Clement again all had her as a parishioner. 

But the strongest evidence of her faith was in her rosary.  This item was always in her pocket, on her nightstand or TV table.  She would say it often.   You might be starting a conversation with her and she would pause before responding.  I realized she was finishing a prayer.  She would not tell me to leave or even acknowledge what she was doing, that might make me uncomfortable.  She would put the rosary down only to pick it up as I walked away.

I learned to always take a sweater, especially in the summer.  I know it seems contrary but she always did.  I asked her once why it was more important in summer than winter and she said that the weather can always change.  She also pointed out that some people were like her husband and kept the temperature way too low.  It was best to be prepared.  Now anyone that has ever sat the back seat of her car can tell you that she always had a pretty good stash of sweaters collecting back there.  I don’t know if I ever saw her wearing those sweaters but I know she always had one with her.  If you attended Mass, lunch or the Muny with her and got cold be assured she would cover you.      

 

I am sure that there are so many more lessons she taught each of us.  From her grammar school days all the way to her time with her grandchildren she loved without boundaries or judgment.  I know this will be a difficult season as our family tries to move forward without her guidance and mean Christmas dinners.   Girls, wear your bracelets with pride.  Know that she prayed for you as you made the sacraments and gave you the charms and continues to pray for you.  I want to remind her grandchild to honor her by continuing to make her proud and know that she is still praying her rosaries for you. 

 

I know that I will always strive to make people around me feel comfortable and I will think of her as I do. Thank you for all the lessons.  God Bless her and God Bless all of us.