Now Things are Changing Again

I continue working on blog posts - the stay at home social distancing posts of our different life. I wanted to write as I was feeling the hurt and fear. It is part of where we are and If this time is going to make us better we need to understand what it was.

I must say that my anxiety is now growing. I was ok when I was told we needed to hunker down. Now the idea of sending the kids out into the world again has me a little sad and a little scared.
Groceries stores change from week to week, with new restrictions added to shoppers constantly. More barriers between people and cleaning stations at the entrance. I hate being told to put my mask on.

The news is telling us that there are supply chain issues for food.

My husband is still not traveling and I like that. How soon will that change?

My first Grand baby is due to be born ANY MINUTE and we are trapped hundreds of miles away. I want to be there for my daughter and I wanted to have helped her in these weeks before the baby. I wanted to pamper her but we are in a new world right now. Praying for sure! Praying for everyone. I miss Pooker and her husband JavaJava so very much, especially as their first wedding anniversary approaches.

I also miss Bear. We get to watch him at daily Mass that is being streamed and that is wonderful.  He is also organizing a morning show that is shared on Facebook. Check it out by clicking here.  I get to see him 3 times a week and pray with him everyday at the Mass. I am scared we will loose that connection to him.

The other kids have been forced to be around mom and dad. We have been forced to work on puzzles together. We have been forced to make meals and eat together all the time. We ate together three or four times a week before but now we are at 7 days a week. When someone is at work, we miss them. I don't want to loose that.

I look around at all the places of employment that are closing and those that I suspect will not make it. My heart sinks. My kids are lifeguards and coaches; but summer pools are not planning to open this summer.

Missouri is announcing "opening" under huge restrictions. We will need to leave name and address to enter stores. Our temperature taken to enter restaurants. Limited number of people allowed in all of these places. Forcing many of them to loose ever more money. How will they survive?

Then we turn to church. Pooker doesn't want us to visit baby until we can go to Mass together. It doesn't look like that will happen for a very long time. The idea of going to church for Mass and being told to go home because they have met their quota will break me. I miss our Lord in communion. I miss the normal Sunday Mass.

I am not wanting to be a "Debbie Downer" here, I am just wanting to record my feelings. Yeah, we might open and but I am fearful of the newer normal.

So I have learned to recite this over and over again the past two months. I was reminded last month when we were blessed to be able to go to Confession privately and then again on divine Mercy Sunday.  It does help and I do believe! So many things out of my control. I need to continue to be the best me I can be and constantly say,

"Jesus I Trust In You!"