I will get pancakes. I wish I had her faith!

J has been making big breakfast for the kids every Sunday morning. When we were on complete lockdown we would watch Mass (with Bear serving from OKC and Pooker and JavaJava watching the same Mass from TX) and then have a huge meal with special drinks, facetime phone calls and anything we could think of the make Sunday special. After we started back to regularly attending Sunday Mass, the breakfast size shrank.  J still makes a big meal but all of the choices are not at each meal. 

I have been struggling with the changes from Wuhan Coronavirus. As many of you know, I am a complete social creature. I want to be out and about in life’s adventures. The lockdown period was about two months for us, but I would continue to shop for groceries at least once a week. Often, I was desperately searching for much needed toilet paper. Masks were not required and I didn’t wear them, as I can’t stand them. So now as the restrictions lift but newer mask requirements are added, I am actually going out less and less.  Most of our grocery shopping is done online with delivery or curb side pickup. This means a lot more planning and a lot less spur of the moment decisions on what to eat. 

Saturday evening one of my daughters announced that she can’t wait for pancakes on Sunday morning. I heard Jason tell her that it was unlikely because we didn’t have any mix and he would not be going into the grocery store any time soon with the requirement of wearing the masks.  Shortly after her announcement Jason went to bed. This child came to me and proclaimed that she would have pancakes in the morning and smiled a huge grin. I explained that it was very unlikely and why. I said next Sunday for sure, but she would just have to be ok with waiting. She told me with the greatest of confidence that, “My daddy really loves me and he always tries to make me happy. I know I will have pancakes, I don’t know how but I trust he will provide!”

I don’t share this story to point out that this daughter was acting a tad cocky or that she had true-spoiled, unrealistic expectations. You see, I struggle with trusting in God. I struggle with trusting in those little things. I know the big things are covered but the little details worry me way too much. My kiddos don’t struggle to trust in God, and my husband is the reason. This is something I need to work on so much. Over the lockdown at the one time we got the privilege of getting to confession, I was given the penance of mentally responding to every worry with, “Jesus I trust in you!” I realized that is very easy to say but so hard to feel.  Not for my kiddos.

Early Sunday morning J had to run another child to early Mass and then to her lifeguarding job. He drove through somewhere and ordered a stack on pancakes. The truth is that our kids are not really spoiled but they trust that their dad will do what he can to make them happy. He works very hard to make their lives better.  It is that complete and innocent trust that we are supposed to have in our heavenly Father! I am most thankful that my children will not struggle with trusting in God that much because they have such a loving dad! I pray that I will gain this trust in HIM.